One week ago, to the hour, our family took over the waiting room, set up camp and eagerly awaited Colin’s arrival. I can’t even believe it all happened. It all went so fast, but like I was moving in slow motion, almost like a dream. Yet here we are at home, healing, grieving, smiling, laughing, crying, and writing. From here on out, not a day will go by that we will not think of our son.
So much happened from putting the car in park at 8pm Monday night, to putting the car in drive at 4pm Wednesday evening. We will never forget those 44 hours with Colin.
I have never been more exhausted yet energized in my life. I have never been more sad yet happy in my life. I have never cried so much yet smiled so much in my life. I have never felt so empty yet felt so full in my life. I have never felt so much purpose in my life as when I watched Jo hold our son for the first time. The strength and love that filled her eyes as she gazed deeply into our son’s eyes made me feel like I have never felt before. I felt proud to be not just a father, but Colin’s father. I felt proud to be not just a husband, but Jo’s husband. I felt a sense of pride that I think only a father feels for his family. It was unlike anything else I have ever experienced in my life. I felt blessed beyond words.
There aren’t enough adjectives I can use for Colin’s obituary to describe and capture his greatness, his perfection, his purity, his strength, his beauty. But, the one word, the one that we all know, the one that keeps coming to my mind is… LOVE. My love for him is deep. Jo’s love for him is deep. Our family’s love for him is deep. And, most importantly, God’s love for him is everlasting.
Colin has reached more people than we could have ever imagined. He has helped us spread more awareness about Anencephaly and Folic Acid than we thought possible. I am so proud of him and blessed to be his father. We have been in touch with family after family who have gone through or are currently going through similar situations and we have been able to help and inspire them. He has made me more proud than anything on this earth.
I will end with a quote I posted today that really hit home with me…
“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.”
– Arthur Rubinstein
We have indeed loved and respected Colin’s life, and we have undoubtedly felt the love back from him, from God, from our family, and from everyone following our journey.
All my love,